Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Map Poem


It stands normal, like every other house on the block
Green and shingled into split- level
Uniformity with wild, landscaped elderberry hedges
Outlined by the dead geraniums, just before where the cornfield begins
Goosebumps consume all by-passers’ arms, but not from today’s forecast
Not from the blamelessly falling snow
On the outside, one may smell only moistened earth
The inside situates much differently than any other split-level
The indoor aromas are unrecognizable
Without a brand; unable to be identified
Hard to be traced; could not be accused of anything
The dinning table looks abandoned against a clean wall
Suspiciously, the tiles shine spotlessly
Half closed shades, yet the porcelain gleams gently without the sun


The stairs creek going above and below floor level, thoughtfully timed by each movement
The garage creates weariness from the dark stains on the floor
Those stains attached to young, innocent screams
Screams that were so piercing, they are now inaudible
Everything seems deceiving upstairs; in a normal, yet dangerous bedroom
For that paper bag still waiting to be tossed, once seeping blood,
remains casually crusted next to a lamp on the nightstand
Sheltering a knife so sharp and precise, that it is threatened by its own blade
This house considered so standard, conceals everything from the ignorant world



Based on novel, The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold.

6 comments:

  1. Your first stanza is so intense. The outside is so vivid for me, and the inside is so bleak, it feels like you're entering a dead place...an empty shell.
    Your second is stanza is also so vivid and so creepy. I love the alliteration in "casually crusted" and it creates such a stong image for me and such anger that this is being allowd to happen. This is a model map poem. Awesome!

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  2. You really did a great job on this. It is so detailed and well written. You described the house very well and really show how creepy the setting is. Great job!!!

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  3. Very concise and descriptive in your expression. I really liked your closing sentence and how the seemingly normal house contains many secrets. Great job =)

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  4. This is extremely good britt! You're a really good writer! I think the last paragraph hit the spot and described the book precisely. This poem holds alot of mystery because personally I want to know more about why there knives lying around and blood-seeped bags and why it is such a casual thing. Who does this house belong to? I'm very intrigued and I would so read this book now that I have read your poem.

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  5. i think that this piece was acutually really interesting. it seems like you actually thoughtout each step of the writing. Well done!!

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  6. This is good. I really liked the line "blamelessly falling snow" I found it a very interesting way to say that it is winter and the snow is falling in general.

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